Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Chapter Song: 

Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody

A/N: This chapter was written by Magnolia.

His cock was in my mouth and he was thrusting deeper, deeper. I wanted more, so I grabbed his firm ass and pulled him closer, loving the feel of his length sliding down my throat. I looked up and his blue eyes searched mine as he bit his lip and growled. God, he was so damn sexy when his teeth caught his full lip like that. I made him feel this way. I made him abandon all sane thought as he pistoned his hips more quickly. I took all he could give, greedily sucking his thick length. This cock was mine. 

"Fuck, Bella, you’re gonna make me come so hard. Fuck. I love fucking your mouth. Shit.” A stream of expletives left his mouth, turning me on so much I could feel the wetness dripping down my thighs. I reached down and rubbed my clit frantically; I needed him to fuck me and fuck me hard.

“Yeah, baby,” he said, running his hands through my hair.  “I love it when you touch yourself. I love watching you swallow me. It’s so fucking hot. God it feels so fucking good,” he groaned and tossed his head back. I could tell he was close. I was close…so close….

“I can’t wait to be inside you again. Bella, let me cum inside of you….I’m gonna make you mine. Let me feel you cum on my cock.”

He bent me over and from in between my spread legs, I could see him grasping his cock. I needed it….

“Shit! Fuck!” I awoke from my dream to find Alice rummaging through my closet in the dark, cursing when she hit her head on something and muttering under her breath. My hand was sandwiched between my thighs, sticky with arousal. Shit. I’d been dreaming of cock again. But not just any cock. Edward’s cock. Dammit. Why the fuck did I want to suck his dick so badly? Oh God. I wanted it. I groaned with the frustration and considered calling Alice back to bed…but then I’d have to explain why I was already so turned on.

And today wasn’t the day for any epic confrontations.

For the last few days, she’d been in a terrible mood, and I knew it was something to do with her brother, the “ass-hat.” He sounded like a real fuck-wad, truth be told, cutting her off without even a chance to explain herself after he’d found her with his girlfriend. It was high school for God’s sakes! Teenagers make mistakes, right?

And now he returned to give the eulogy for their father’s older brother, who, according to Alice, no one in the family had actually liked. An even bigger ass-hat.

“Even my father hated him,” she’d told me last night as we lounged in bed after another epic tongue fucking. “He was such a bitter old misogynist. Had tons of money and never even sent me a birthday present. And when he found out I was gay he was always sending me these religious pamphlets telling me I was a sinner—he thought it was his job as my uncle to keep me from Hell.

“I stopped speaking to him completely after he tried to get my mother to send me to ‘Scared Straight’ camp.” She shuddered in my arms and I held her tightly. The idea that there was something "wrong" with Alice that needed fixing was just absurd—and disturbing—to me. Some people were just insane.

“You know those 'What Would Jesus Do' bracelets?”

“Yeah,” I murmured, running my hand up and down her arm.

“Well, when we were kids we used to say 'What Would Marcus Do?' That’s how bad he was.”

I chuckled. “So why does the ‘ass-hat’ like him so much?” I asked, referring to Alice’s brother with the term of endearment she reserved especially for him. She’d never even told me his real name—more evidence of their complete and utter estrangement.

“Marcus paid for his medical school since my parents couldn’t afford it at the time. Carlisle had just lost his job and we were up shit’s creek. Ass-hat didn’t think he’d be able to go after all, but Marcus surprised everyone by giving him the money. It was the only nice thing he ever did for any of us…but whatever, Marcus always had a soft-spot for the ass-hat.”

Her bitterness made sense.

So now here I was, angry girlfriend in the closet swearing while I fantasized about deep-throating Edward’s huge cock—and I’d never even given a blowjob before.

This shit was fucked.

“Allie,” I called, “what the hell are you doing in there?”

She sighed with exasperation, “I’m trying to find you something suitable to wear to this God-awful funeral!”

“It’s just a funeral…not a fashion show. And anyway, what does it matter what I wear?” I grumbled. Even though we’d been dating for a while, I found it irritating that Alice always felt the need to dress me up like a Barbie for any and every special occasion. Not that this was a special occasion—it was more like a public execution.

Glancing at the alarm clock by the bed, I saw it was after eight. The funeral was at two, but since the drive to Forks from Seattle would take three hours, we’d have to get a move on soon.  I still had to pack, since we were planning on spending the weekend at Esme and Carlisle’s. Alice hadn’t seen them in a while and when Esme had insisted, she couldn’t turn her down. But I knew we’d have to sleep in separate rooms—Alice’s parents knew about our relationship, but they were funny about any unmarried couples, gay or straight, sleeping together in their home.

I couldn’t say I looked forward to the next few days, especially since the "ass-hat" would be there as well. This was going to be one fucked-up family reunion. And what good were a couple of days off work if I couldn’t even get cock…I mean…pussy?

I turned on the light and grabbed my glasses from the nightstand so that I could actually see. Alice had retreated to the bathroom and when she re-emerged my eyes bugged out of my head. 

Holy shit.

Alice wore a form fitting black sheath dress with one of the most daring plunge necklines I’d ever seen. Her cleavage was smooth and creamy and white, looking so scrumptious all thoughts of Edward’s hard throbbing cock immediately vanished from my brain. I wasn’t even thinking about his thick, luscious….

Fuck.

“You like?” she said, bringing me back to reality and twirling so I could admire her form. I did indeed. The dress was short, showcasing her sculpted legs, and her calf muscles stood out in relief thanks to the four inch Manolo Blahniks on her feet. The brightest red lipstick I’d ever seen accentuated her perfectly made up face. She looked like she’d stepped directly from the pages of a pulp novel.

“Damn, Allie. Yeah. You look awesome, but…isn’t that dress a little…” I hesitated, “… inappropriate?”

She smirked devilishly at me. “Oh, this old thing?  Just wait 'til you see what you’re wearing.”

 ---------------------------------------------------------

Six hours later we walked arm in arm up the steps of St. Martin's Episcopal Church as I surreptitiously struggled to make the tiny black skirt I was wearing appear just a bit longer by tugging on the hem. When Alice had held up the knee high boots, tightly fitting black boat neck sweater, and the miniskirt I’d bought in eleventh grade, my heart had nearly stopped. But then she’d given me those big sad eyes and made her lips quiver and I couldn’t say no. As soon as I’d relented she’d given a victorious squeal and had set about whore-ifying me.

I just hoped the family really did hate dear, departed Uncle Marcus, because if not, they surely would hate me. 

“Uncle Marcus is rolling over in his grave,” she whispered into my ear as we approached the group at the top of the stairs. I recognized Esme and Carlisle immediately. They were hard to miss—never before in my life had I met people in their late forties who looked like they did. Esme was lovely as always, wearing a modest black pantsuit and a delicate shawl. Carlisle’s blonde hair was slightly unkempt and he wore a slim fitting black suit that showed off his trim form. They were a far cry from my parents, Charlie and Renee, that was for sure.

I wonder what Doctor Cullen has in his pants. BELLA!!!

Esme smiled as she saw us approach, holding out her hands in greeting. Little did she know my thoughts had just been inappropriately considering her husband’s package. Oh, I was a bad, bad person.

I really admired Esme for supporting Alice the way she had, especially because her brother was such an...ass-hat.  She didn’t even seem to register that we were dressed like we’d just come from a night at The LGR.

“Bella, so glad you could come,” she said, giving me a hug. Carlisle gave a similar greeting, but his eyes had widened perceptibly as he took us in. Well, who could blame him? The skirt barley covered my ass—which I’d been told was robust. Alice’s cleavage was on display for God and our country.

Sweet Lord how had I let her talk me into this? Alice stood chatting with her parents, oblivious to the fact that every male in the crowd was eyeing us. I tried to occupy myself, but it was hard. Hard like cock. DAMN!  I trained my eyes on Alice’s bosom. There, that was better. That’s where they should be. Great, now I was inappropriately staring.

I looked away, fearing for my sanity.

There were other people who I didn’t recognize—distant cousins and friends of the family. One of them, a tall and shapely blonde woman, stood out from the rest. Her blue eyes were cold, but they were set in the loveliest heart-shaped face. Her eyes flicked to mine for a second, but then she tossed her golden mane and looked away with a slight sneer. She was certainly attractive, but she wasn’t my type at all. For one thing, she was clearly a super-bitch. And she doesn’t have a cock.

Shut UP!!! I told the voice in my head. No cock for you.

Alice glanced over to where I was looking and I swear to God her jaw dropped.

“Alice? Honey, are you alright?” Esme looked concerned,  unaware of the fact that my girlfriend was currently ogling the bitch goddess. And, to my surprise, the bitch goddess was staring back…what the fuck? I jabbed Alice with my elbow.

“Aliceee,” I hissed.

“What? Oh, sorry, yeah. ...What?” She turned back to us, clearly discombobulated.

“You look flushed, honey, are you alright?” In a mothering gesture, Esme touched her hand to Alice’s forehead, a little frown on her face. Alice waved her off.

“Mom, I’m fine.”

“Just a little…hot?” I asked testily.

“Yeah, maybe a little.” She looked at me sheepishly but I wasn’t having any of it. If she was going to be giving anyone sex eyes, it should be me. I was her girlfriend, and my ass was practically hanging out of this damn skirt. Who are you to talk, the voice in my head sneered, all you can think about is Edward’s Monstercock.

Shut up. Shut up!!!

I looked back and the bitch-goddess had gone.

“Where’s the ass-hat?” Alice asked no one in particular, obviously trying to change the subject.

“Your brother is inside preparing the eulogy,” Carlisle said tersely.

“Yes, he has to get ready to kiss dear old Uncle Marcus’s ass for the last time,” Alice rejoined.

“I’ll see you all inside.” Carlisle’s face became serious as he turned to go; his hasty departure made me uncomfortable. I really didn’t want to be caught in the middle of this family drama—I’d had enough of it as a kid during my parents' divorce.

“Alice,” Esme pleaded. “Please don’t do this here. Your brother’s only here for a short time and I just want to have a nice weekend, okay?”

“Whatever,” she said dismissively.

“I know you two haven’t gotten along recently,” Esme continued, “but Edward has changed. I can’t explain it…he’s…just...different. Please, give him a chance, Alice. He’s your brother.”

“Hmph,” Alice muttered.

I could barely understand what happened next because my mind was fixated on one word alone.

EDWARD?  Surely it was just a coincidence. There were tons of Edwards roaming around, millions! What was the likelihood that Alice’s brother was the Edward I’d had hot sweaty fucking fantastic bathroom sex with?

But he said he’d just returned from overseas…No. Couldn’t be. Couldn’t fucking BE.

Cock. Dammit Bella! I was developing some form of Penis Tourette’s Syndrome.

 “Well, howdy there sugar,” said a voice from behind me. It sounded eerily familiar, but I couldn’t place it. I turned around.

It was one of the dudes from The LGR—the blonde southern one! The one who’d gone home and had a Jessica Stanley sandwich while I screwed Edward…hopefully not Cullen…in a dirty bathroom stall!

“I thought I’d recognized you up here. Isabella, was it?” He took my hand as his eyes swept up and down my body in a way that made me want to knee him in the groin. That is, if Alice didn’t do it for me.

“Jasper, eww.  Just eww,” Alice said. “Wait a second,” she said, turning on me, “how the hell do you know this idiot?”

Holy shit, holy shit. How did I know him? Think, Bella, think! And more importantly, how does Alice know him?

“We didn’t have a formal introduction, Miss Alice,” he drawled, “but I did  have the pleasure of getting to know this lady’s friend, Miss Stanley, the other night.”  Now the situation had moved from uncomfortable to downright mortifying. Esme smiled tightly and said something about going to find Carlisle, leaving me stuck alone with Alice and the threesome guy.

“Well that explains it,” Alice said, her hands on her hips. “So, is this the guy Jess went home with from the club?” she asked me, pointing at Jasper.

“Er…yeah?”  One of them.

“Sick,” she grimaced. 

Jasper turned his attention back to me. “You know, there’s someone who…”

"Isn’t it about time to go inside?” I cut him off, grabbing Alice’s arm and pulling her close. She loosened up a little, her small frame tucking into my body. I kissed her on the head and glared at him, my jaw clenched, silently willing him to get the message.

Jasper’s eyes looked ready to explode.

“Ah..so you two…are…”

“Girlfriends?” Alice shot out. “Yeah, deal with it.”

“No offense meant, Miss Alice.”

Alice could really be a ball buster.

“Yeah, well you can stop staring at Bella’s tits now, Jasper, because that shit’s all mine.” I cringed a little at her words; not that they weren’t true, I just hated feeling owned. My tits were mine, thank you very much. I released her and shot Jasper a warning look. If he said anything I was really and truly fucked.

Jasper gave a lopsided smirk and a little bow. “My apologies, ma’am.” He then turned and left us to follow the thinning crowd into the church and I let out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding.

“God, that asshole has always gotten under my skin,” Alice seethed.

“Always?”

“He’s the ass-hat’s best friend. I’ve known him since his family moved to Forks when we were kids. Always got on my nerves…fucker tried to kiss me in the seventh grade! Don’t worry, I kneed him in the nuts.”

HOLY SHIT! This confirmed it. The ass-hat was Edward. Edward was the ass-hat. I’d fucked an ass-hat. I’D FUCKED MY GIRLFRIEND’S BROTHER.

I was having a heart attack and I was sweating, I could feel the beads start to form on my back. I needed to get the hell out of here and back to Seattle. I needed a drink. I needed…cock.

Dammit, Bella!!!

“Bella, sweetie, what’s wrong?”

I glanced around and noticed we were alone on the stairs. In the distance I heard music and realized the service must be starting…fuck. Fuck.

“Nothing, Allie. Nothing. Just feeling a little lightheaded. I don’t think I ate enough today.”

“Ooooh baby,” she crooned, nuzzling me and peppering my face with kisses,  surely leaving lipstick marks behind. I wiped them away. “What do you need? We can go. You want to go?” 

Just then, the blonde bitch-goddess appeared at the top of the stairs. She looked at us and I thought I saw a flicker of…what…jealousy?

“Alice, the service is starting,” she said coldly.

“Okay.” Alice was looking and for a second I felt like I didn’t exist. I didn’t like it.

Bitch-goddess turned on her heels and re-entered the church.

“I guess we have to go in,” Alice said wistfully.

“Allie, who the hell is that?”

“Rosalie Hale.”

“Who is….?”

“Jasper’s little sister.”

HOLY FUCKBALLS. 

I was filing that one away…for later.

 ----------------------------------------------------------

Everyone was already seated as we made our way down the aisle. I made a point of staring at the ground and nowhere else. I didn’t want to look up and around because I knew he was there. Somewhere. Call me crazy, but I could feel his presence in the room; all of my senses were heightened. I felt faint as I walked next to Alice.  We sat on the far right of the family pew and still I didn’t lift my gaze. 

Alice excused herself for a minute, saying she had to run to the ladies room. Great. Now I was left with no protection at all.  I opened my purse and started ferreting around, trying to look occupied. I pulled out my cell phone and texted Jess; sure it was rude, but I needed help, and I needed it now.

J-Holy fucking shit. The fuckhawt guy from LGR=ALICE’S BROTHER. At funeral now. Going to die. –B

About three seconds later my phone vibrated.

B- NO FUCKING WAY. OH SHIT. NOT GOOD!!!!!! Girl, call me ASAP!!! –J

I immediately replied.

J-Will do, if I’m still alive. In other news: Jasper is his bff. –B

Her next message made me chuckle. It was so Jess.

B-NFW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Call me! -J

A few minutes later Alice returned, a smug smile on her face. I immediately stowed my phone. “Fun times in the girl’s room?” I teased half-heartedly, trying to distract myself from my impending vomit fest.

“You could say that,” she replied enigmatically. What the hell was she up to?

Just then, the minister began to speak and I tried to focus on his words, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t focus on anything but the fact that Edward was about to give a fucking eulogy and I’d hear his voice...oh God. Oh God.

“And now I’d like to introduce Marcus’s nephew, Edward Cullen, who will be giving the eulogy today.”

I couldn’t help but lift my head. But as soon as I did I knew it was a mistake.

Edward stood at the front of the room, off to the right of the casket (which was thankfully closed), more insanely gorgeous than I remembered. He was wearing a perfectly tailored dark grey suit and a skinny tie, and his hair was a mass of bronze deliciousness. I remembered the soft feel of it under my hands, my nails on his scalp, and I felt my face flush hotly. I couldn’t look away. His body looked fine, his silhouette defined under the obviously expensive material. I thanked God he was standing at a podium, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to abstain from seeking out the Monstercock. 

And…he was staring straight at me. Obviously staring, as in, he was supposed to be starting his eulogy but instead he was standing there staring.  From this distance his eyes seemed darker than the blue I remembered, but they were just as mesmerizing.

Or was glaring more like it? I turned to Alice and she gave him a death-look. Was he staring at her or at me? Her hand went to my knee and squeezed and I forced myself to leave it there, even though I wanted nothing more than to remove it. Yes, let him see. This was me. This was us.  The mourners began murmuring a little and the sound brought Edward out of his reverie, breaking the spell.

He began speaking, but his velvet voice had a hard edge to it…he was unsettled. Was it because Marcus, or Alice and me? Or me?

No, he couldn’t really be upset over this…it was just a one time fuck, right? Right? He never even asked for my number…

Yeah, but you ran out of The LGR like a bat out of hell. He never even had a chance.

Why would he care?

But what about Alice and his girlfriend…he hates lesbians!

Fuck.  Fuck. I couldn’t be sorry about it because there was no chance anything could ever happen between us…ever…his sister was sitting next to me with her hand on my knee. His sister who had a magic tongue and a good soul and…my heart. Right?

“Marcus’s generosity helped to fund my education when my family was struggling, and for that I’ll always be grateful. It was because of him that I was able to live my dream and travel to South Africa to work at the Cape Town clinic for abused women.”

Wait…what? This was news to me. It didn’t seem to gel with what I knew of him as a woman-hating asshole. It could be that this was all for show…but he did sound humble…he wasn’t trying to flaunt it. But maybe that’s exactly what he was trying to do, by not trying to! 

“I met some amazing people, people who’ve had to deal with things that most of us cannot even fathom…” He voice became distant for a second, then he cleared his throat. Damn, even the throat clearing was sexy.

“It was an experience that forever changed me, and I hope that I was able to do some good there, as well.”

Edward paused before going on. “Marcus wasn’t always an…easy man to deal with…some say he may have been…misguided…in some of the things that he said or did…”

From what Alice had told me that was the understatement of the year.

“But we are here today to be grateful for the things that he did do, things that have changed lives…whether or not he meant them to.”

Hmm…didn’t exactly sound like Edward was in love with his poor dead uncle to me. I was confused.

Alice’s hand splayed on my knee, tracing a pattern there and I felt a lump forming in my throat. I’d been unfaithful and I’d lied about it…and with her brother…I was a hateful person. A fucking hateful person.

Hot tears began to fill my eyes and I willed them back; I couldn’t cry here. No.

I looked back up and Edward was finishing…his eyes glanced back to me but his expression had changed. It was a little softer now. I felt something warm on my cheek and I wiped it. Tears had fallen after all. Alice’s hand left my knee and squeezed my hand.

The minister replaced Edward at the podium, and I sat trying to wrap my head around all of the information I’d just learned. Things weren’t adding up.

Was it possible that Alice was wrong about her brother? Or that she had misunderstood his motivations in cutting ties with her? 

But who was I to second-guess my girlfriend for some guy I barely knew? But you know his cock. Hey, brain—Inappropriate!

The minister was speaking again.

“Marcus requested that his favorite hymn, ‘Nearer My God to Thee’ be played. So I’d like you all to stand for this final moment, as we say goodbye to our friend and brother, Marcus Cullen, and wish him happiness in his eternal life.”

I stood on wobbly legs and gripped the rail of the pew in front of me. I couldn’t stop thinking about Edward and how I needed to get him alone for a minute to explain before this whole thing blew up in my face.

Somewhere I heard the click of a PA system. Ugh. Here we go. Depressing song time.

The minister came back to the podium and we all bowed our heads.

All of a sudden, the room was blasted with a cacophony of sound. It took a second to register, but then my mouth dropped open---

I see a little silhouetto of a man

Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the Fandango

Thunderbolt and lightning, very, very frightening me

(Galileo) Galileo (Galileo) Galileo, Galileo Figaro

Magnifico-o-o-o-o

I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me

He's just a poor boy from a poor family

Spare him his life from this monstrosity

Fucking ‘Bohemian Rhapsody!’ The minister panicked; he set off at a run. The crowd muttered and murmured. Alice grinned. The little shit! 

Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?

Bismillah! No, we will not let you go

Let him go

Bismillah! We will not let you go

Let him go

Bismillah! We will not let you go

Somewhere someone shouted “Let me go!” Others laughed. It was utter chaos, and it was fucking hilarious.

 (Will not let you go)

Let me go (Will not let you go) (Never, never, never, never)

Let me go, o, o, o, o

No, no, no, no, no, no, no

(Oh mama mia, mama mia) Mama Mia, let me go

Beelzebub has the devil put aside for me, for me, for me!

The music cut off just before the part--if one were watching Wayne’s World--where everyone in the car would start head-banging. Alice got in a couple before silence settled once again. Carlisle glared over at us, obviously aware she was the culprit. Alice just shrugged and smiled.

Soon the sedate melody of Marcus’s chosen hymn sounded through the air and I felt it was the perfect time to excuse myself to the bathroom. I whispered in Alice’s ear and she nodded.

This was some crazy shit, and I really needed to pee. And sit down. My wobbly legs were about to give out.

I walked down the side aisle and quickly located the red sign that indicated the ladies room. Just as I was about to push the door open, a hand clasped my arm. I turned around and gasped to find myself face-to-face with Edward. His green eyes flashed…wait…they were green…and I couldn’t utter a single word. His full lips, so close to my own, mesmerized me. I licked my lips and could taste his scent in the air…

“I…I…” I sputtered.

Without another word, Edward looked over his shoulder, and then pulled me into the bathroom, locking the door behind us.